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When's the
next one due?
That's what everybody asked
after I delivered my
first one:
(Bet ya thought
I was
talking
about a new baby.)
I wish!
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Having books
isn't like
having babies . . .
Babies are easier to conceive
and to deliver than books.
Nine months to produce a book?
Not even close!
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You know what else?
When a baby comes, people pick it up, coo over it and tell me how cute it is. And I get to lie around while nurses make me take it easy and bring me dinner on a tray.
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Not after a book!
"Couldn't put it down!"
my friends say.
"Read it in a sitting!"
And then
the words
I hate:
"When's the
next one due?"
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I'll admit it.
After Holy Water I thought
I'd never have another one.
But some things
have a way of happening
whether you plan them or not....
Bless Me Father,
for I Have Kids
is here!
Yes, it does look a lot like my first one: same great publisher, same great cartoonist, and, oh yes, lots of stories about the same great family: mine.
I get to say they're great, you see, because I'm not taking credit for it. My family is just funny. All I do is write it down the zany things they do.
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"Mom, there's no food in this house!"
Technically it was not true.
There was not no food . . .
. . . and I told her so.
There was one egg (stuck in its carton), a packet of two-year-old Kashi, and plenty of oats.
I did concede that the Pringles had run out.
"I think you were supposed to plan and shop . . . ," I said to her.
She threw up her hands as if to say, "What next?" |
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But this isn't a tell-all book.
Each one of them gets a
line-item veto.
Besides, I figure we surprised
the six girls enough for
twelve lifetimes when we
finally gave them
a baby brother.
"Girls, you've told everybody you don't want a boy. And that's not really true, is it? What if it is a boy – how would you feel about declaring that?"
"It won't be," they said.
"But just what if?" I persisted. "Will you . . . like him?"
"Of course we'll like him!"
I sighed in relief.
"But it isn't going to happen."
"Well, look. Just in case it does, you need to stop telling everybody you want a girl. Just say, you want whomever God sends. God decides these things and He has always known best. Isn't that the real message here? Girl or boy – God decides and we're happy?"
"Okay," they nodded, obviously humoring me. |
If you want to make God laugh,
tell him your plans.
That's why I never attempt to plan books. I wrote this one between piano lessons and orthodontist appointments, sitting on the middle bench of my van.
With seven kids and homeschooling, not to mention my day job as chief cook and bottom washer, I don't even have time to think in the shower.
When the sound of running water reaches my kids' ears, they take it as a signal to bring up that major life choice that's been on their minds:
"Mom?"
"Gurgle-what-gurgle?"
"Can I fuzzy bluh bluh my gummy?"
"Gur-what?"
"Can I fuzzy bluh bluh my gummy?!"
I think for a second. "Yes," would certainly get rid of the child.
Then again, what would I be saying yes to? What if Fuzzy's mother calls later from the ER and demands to know where I was when the gummy went off and bluh bluhed all over Fuzzy? |
But you know what?
I wouldn't change it.
No, not even Murphy's Law.
(Mrs. Murphy's Law, that is --- the Irish-Catholic woman with ten kids):
"Anything that can go wrong
will go wrong in front
of other people."
It's the stuff I can't plan for,
can't predict and can't control
that inspires me, gives me joy,
and most importantly,
makes me laugh.
And will make
you laugh, too.
Who knows?
After I recover from this one, I may forget all about the labor and welcome a third book.
In the meantime, for a relaxing pick-me-up you can always spend some time with:
Bless Me, Father, For I Have Kids
Susie Lloyd
192 pgs pbk $14.95
… Do I hear a coo?
And you might also
have fun with its big sister:
Please Don't Drink the Holy Water
Susie Lloyd
224 pgs pbk $14.95
Save 25%
on both of these books*
At checkout,
enter
code:
LNKLL25
(*shipping not included)
(* Plus shipping )
*
Susie Lloyd is a frequent contributor
to
Catholic periodicals. She lives in Pennsylvania
with
her husband and a gaggle of children.
Sophia Institute Press
1-800-888-9344
Box 5284, Manchester, NH 03108
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